The tragic abduction and murder of eleven-year-old Carlie Brucia last week in Florida brought a shudder to the heart of every parent and stepparent. Played out in dreadful detail repeatedly, the grainy security camera footage showed Carlie Brucia walking home from a sleepover at a friend’s house as she was grabbed by a stranger and led to her death.

Speaking through palpable grief and angst, her stepfather Steve Kansler told CNN that he blamed himself. Kansler said he took his son to play on a farm and missed picking Carlie up by just a couple of minutes. According to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC), 115 children a year in the United States are victims of stranger abductions – the most dangerous form of child-snatching.

In talking to children about safety, NCMEC advises parents to use a calm and non-threatening manner and to not frighten them. Avoid confusing children with “stranger-danger” mantras – these may not help your child avoid an abductor. Children may not have the same understanding of a stranger as an adult. Children need to know that it is ok to be impolite to escape from a threatening situation. They also need to hear that it is ok to “tattle” if something is wrong or makes them feel unsafe or threatened. Do not exclude your older children from discussing personal safety tips.

With the accessibility of the internet, our children are far more likely to be propositioned at home than on the street by a stranger. One in five children between the ages of 10 and 17 received unwanted sexual solicitations online, according to Highlights of the Youth Internet Safety Survey published by the U.S. Department of Justice. Here’s five tips to help keep your child safer online:

1. No identifying information. Children and teens should never give out their real name, home address, phone number, birth date or school information online.
2. Follow the rules. Obey the rules set up for your internet use by your parents and/or stepparents. The rules might restrict what types of sites can be visited, how long you can be online, or where the computer is located. Talk to your parents or stepparents if you want to change the rules.
3. Keep a game face. Remember that not everyone in an online chat room may be truthful. Sometimes adults who like kids in inappropriate ways pretend to be kids in a chat room and they can be very convincing.
4. Don’t tolerate bad behavior. If someone says something inappropriate to you online, harasses you online, or does anything that makes you uncomfortable, you’re your parent and then contact your internet service provider.
5. Don’t share problems online. If you have a problem confide in a friend who lives in your community or an adult you trust and know from school, a club, church or some other activity. If you don’t have anyone locally to talk to, call the Covenant House’s 9 line at 1-800-999-9999 and they will connect you to a youth counselor. Don’t share your problems online in a chat room.

Parents and stepparents – it’s time to take a stand and educate ourselves about how to keep our children safer. It’s also time for us to say no more to online misbehavior. Don’t allow cyber-bullying or sexual solicitation of your children online. If your child receives unwanted sexual solicitations online, report it to your internet service provider. Free safety publications for parents, children and teens are available online for download at www.cybertipline.com or can be ordered by calling 800-843-5678.

Dawn Miller writes a column on life in blended families at thestepfamilylife.com. 
Visit Dawn's blog for a daily dose of life in the blender.
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